Cops in Thailand

They don't do much. That's in no way an insult to their character, it's just the nature of their job. They don't need to do much. I have never seen a situation where a police officer had to intervene. I have seen no violence here, and the only people who are raising their voices and creating a scene and getting angry are tourists, sadly. I think the cops are pretty bored. I also think that they think that they are kind of a big deal. I can tell that because they drive wicked motorcycles. These motorcycles are so bitchin' that the cops could be wearing pink lace uniforms and still look like badasses. Speaking of uniforms, they wear tight dark green pants and a military top with pins and buttons (pins and buttons make you a big deal, naturally) and knee-high combat boots with their pants tucked in.

I was walking home from work today and I was crossing an intersection that I've crossed a hundred times, I know when and how the lights change. A cop rides his bike over to where I'm waiting on the curb, parks it, and says something to me in Thai. Then he walks into the street and holds his hand up for traffic to stop. I can't believe he's going to stop traffic so I can cross the street! How nice, but I'm a patient person. I can wait another half a minute. I then had to try and not laugh because it was nothing more than a sad attempt to try and control traffic. He held his hand out to stop them. No one stopped. They whizzed by like a herd of bats out of hell. The cop realized no one was obeying him, so he changed his hand gesture to say "ok...you can pass, and you, and you..." Then when the light changed and I was able to cross, the cop graciously gave me permission to go. Thanks, guy. He had good intentions either way.

I heard that traffic cops go home at 7pm. I am starting to notice a difference in traffic at 6:55pm and 7:05pm. Traffic in general is very different from the states. Red lights are a suggestion, "No U-turn" signs are just a joke, pedestrians have no right-of-way. Ever. The white lines separating the lanes might as well not exist. 90 percent of the time, a vehicle with 4 wheels will have two wheels on either side of the white dashes. They say traffic runs like a river here, and you can definitely see that. You can't think about it too much, never get aggravated, just go with the flow.

Back to the cops. The only beef I have with this one in particular is the guy who works at the weekend market near my apartment. I noticed him a few weeks ago, and he now literally drives me crazy. One day I was minding my own business, strolling around the market, sitting down to eat some food. I keep hearing this screaming whistle. It was blown every 5 seconds, and 5 consecutive screams. Wait 5 seconds, whistle again. It never stopped. Then I looked at the source of this awful noise and saw a cop in uniform, just strolling around like I was. Only he had a whistle. He was blowing it for no apparent reason. I think he just wanted people to know he was there. He was not directing traffic. He was not addressing any problems. Look at me! I'm a big deal and I'm here to let you know it! Why. Why. Why. Every night, the same thing. I should buy a whistle and blow it like a madwoman and pretending like it's just a normal thing to do at the market and see if he thinks I'm a big deal too.