More Goofballs

Some of my students think they are pretty funny. Today they had to give presentations on a topic related to health, and one group of guys did an informational presentation on prostate cancer. One of the requirements for the presentation was a visual aid. (You can see where this is going). They had printed out a few handouts for the class to pass around which included anatomy of the male genitalia as they talked about the risks and prevention strategies of prostate cancer in men. It didn't really phase the class at all, no one was being immature and giggling, which was actually pretty surprising. Here is the best part: they gave me my own handout for the presentation and after they finished, they went back to their seats. As they passed me, I returned the handout back to them and they all had big smiles on their faces and said, "You can keep it, teacher." I said with an eyebrow raised, "No thanks. I don't really think I need to keep it." That's when the class busted out laughing. I laugh about it now too. I am really going to miss those goofballs when the semester is over.

Don't Judge Me On My Ads

Perhaps you noticed I have ads on my blog now. I hope they're not too annoying, but I just noticed a big ad at the bottom for the Scientology Channel....? I do not choose the ads. They are random. I swear. Don't judge.

SAT's

I'm spending three days a week tutoring two or three high school girls on taking the SAT's so they can go to college in America or Europe. It's a nice change to teach something that actually stimulates my brain a little bit. It was kind of crazy how I got the job. A Thai woman who works in the English Department with me (though I hadn't met her yet at that point) called my cell phone and just started talking away and I said "yes" like I knew what she was saying, but she was really asking me if I can commit to this job. (I would have said yes anyway, she didn't con me into anything). So on my first day I show up to the international tutoring school right after teaching a full day at the university. I spent the day speaking slow and charading everything out to help the beginner English students understand what the hell is going on in class. I had to yank myself out of that mode with these students. I walk in the little classroom and they are sitting there waiting for me to start. I have no idea what their skill level is, so I talk slowly and clearly and ask them to tell me about themselves. They started talking and they are nearly fluent! I was so happy! Like a breath of fresh air. I felt like they were my instant friends. It's really funny how a language barrier can put such a distance between people.

I started the class, but here's the catch. I took the SAT's about 8 years ago. The test is different now. They've added extra sections and the scoring system is different. When the coordinator woman called me she said that one of the students got a 1500 the last time she took the test and wanted a better score. I about pissed myself until I realized that the test is out of 2400 now, not 1600. Am I qualified to be teaching them this? Not sure, but I do enjoy putting the extra time in to learn the teaching material and doing the endless practice questions on my own. My Thai nickname should be Nerd.

After the two hour class, the coordinator woman who called me and gave me the job was there in the office and she asked me how things went, paid me, and had me work on some paperwork. As I was leaving, this coordinator woman was talking with one of my students and her mom. I politely interrupted and asked if there was anything else she needed. She said, "No, I'm just going to ask this student here what she thought of you and your teaching and then I will call you and let you know." Yep. I looked back at her and then at the student and her mom and smiled and said, "Ok, then. Have a nice night!"

Very blunt = Very Thai = Very awkward for me

HK or Bust

P&P travel is really the best travel agency in Chiang Mai. I found out about it through word of mouth; others have nice things to say and I wholeheartedly concur. They were friendly and patient with my endless phone calls checking flights and seats and dates, and when I stopped in today they had my whole itinerary ready for me and left me saying, "That's it? That was way too easy...easy as pie...mmm pie." I went across the street for coffee and apple pie. If you seek a travel agency while in Chiang Mai, use P&P. And go to JJ's Cafe for pie. Yum.

Point being, I am so excited to be all set to go to Hong Kong to visit Doug and Mare in a few weeks. Can't wait!

On Grades

It's grade season for Thai students and I try to think of appropriate ways to let students know what their progress is as the semester comes to an end. The first time I handed back an assignment I put their scores and comments on individual slips of paper and handed them back to the students. Doing this was a total waste of time. Here I thought I was doing them a favor by keeping their scores private. Privacy is nothing here. They spent more time exchanging slips of paper with their grades than they did contemplating their own score. It was like we were all eating together at a Chinese restaurant and we were all looking at each other's fortune cookies. Oohh! What does yours say?? I don't understand it. My teachers and professors came up with ways to keep my grades completely discreet using ID number codes, cover sheets, online passwords. Today I had the spreadsheet with grades for the students for them to see at the end of class. They truly don't care that their name and grades are in plain sight for everyone. It was on a single piece of paper and by the end of class I had 35 kids crowded around me trying to see the page, each copying down their own scores and then the scores of all their friends. One of the students said, "Maybe you can put this on the overhead?" My goodness I would be mortified to have my grades posted on an overhead projector.

They just think about grades differently. They are all in each other's business and they think of it more like winning lottery numbers than anything that's actually correlated with their skill or work put in. I had two students ask me after class, "So you give me?" "Give you what?," I asked. "Grade A for semester?" "If you do well on your presentation and your final, your score might be high enough for an A..." "Give me A!" "If you practice your presentation this weekend and then study hard for the final exam and you should be fine." "You will be really nice to give me A, maybe a little bit nice and you give me B. Anything C or better is good for me." Yes, because it all depends on how nice I am. I sometimes forget these are college students. If I went to a professor and asked them to be nice and give me an A... it's just too absurd to even think of what would happen. I shooed these two students out of the classroom as they shuffled backward into the hallway smiling and saying, "A! A! Ok? Ok? A for me!"

Never a dull moment.

Child Performers

There are a couple of kids who perform at the markets and a part of me admires their talent, and another part of me gets angry at their parents standing by watching their kid make an extra buck or two for them. Motives aside, they are fun to watch. My favorite is this boy who plays a large canvas covered drum in an ensemble of other percussionists and by the initial look of it, it really seems like he does not want to be there. He looks bored and irritated like he's saying in his mind, "but daaaaad, I want to go home and watch pokemon!" The bizarre thing is, he looks so nonchalant about what he's doing, but he's got an amazing talent with the drums. He swings around these drumsticks with his gangly limbs without a care in the world, like he could accidentally lose his grip and send one flying into the crowd, but he never ever loses his rhythm. Some parts he looks like he could have fallen over tripping on his own feet, but he didn't miss a beat. They were complicated rhythms too! It was a sight to see. It made me giggle uncontrollably.

The other girl is gorgeous and she does traditional dance. She is surrounded by flower petals on the ground as people pass by. Her makeup and hair is done like a little pageant girl, and her mom has got her finger on the CD player behind her. She's really talented and holds a smile and dances with the maturity of a person five times her age. I did see a little diva in her when I walked by and she shot her mom a piercing look and said something in Thai and her mom quickly obeyed and turned the music up. She turned back to the crowd with a lovely smile. Cute as a button, demanding as a child star.

Mini Pork Balls

...or in other words, the most bizarre moment of my weekend. After a night out, there are vehicles pulled over on the side of the road that are waiting to feed the bar goers after close. They have all those post beer snacks you crave like dried squid, noodles and sauce, or black bean filled pastries. Not the typical food I go after at the end of the night, but since there were no burritos or greasy hash browns and pancakes in sight, I went for the black bean pastries. As we're ordering our food from this man in the back of his pick up truck, a van pulls up right next to me standing there and I can feel the heat of the engine on my back. At the same moment, I'm bombarded by the blasting pop sensation Madonna, singing "Like a Virgin" over the van's top notch stereo system. I turn around and my eyes were assaulted by this bubble of pink:
I wish you could see the driver. You can hardly see the side of her face in the photo. She was in a hot pink wig, in a hot pink dress, and a big rosy smile and glitter everywhere. She was singing along with Madonna and she stopped to order some black bean pastries as well. I wish I could see my own face doing a double-triple take, trying to follow the conversation between the guy in the back of the truck and her bubbly self. This didn't really phase me so much until I got home and looked at my pictures. I now just noticed the "mini pork balls" on the van. This honestly didn't seem so weird at the time, but the more I think about it, the stranger the whole situation was. That's what seems to happen here, when you take these goofy moments and put them into context with what you're used to, it gets really bizarre really quick. I like it.

Oh and remember that thing that happens here when you want something, ask a silent wish to yourself, and your wish is instantly granted? I was walking home after the mini pork balls van incident thinking to myself how it's kind of a bummer to walk a mile home at the end of the night and (like magic) a friend appears on his motorbike and gives me a lift home. Same thing happened again yesterday while walking home with a carton of melting ice cream and I think to myself, wow if I don't get home soon this is going to be a mess! I hear a "hey!" that more resembles a bark and it's another friend pulled over ready to give me a ride home. I run into someone I know every time I go out in public; it's getting to be ridiculous, especially with over 175,000 people living in this city. I don't understand it, but I enjoy it.