Dear Thailand,

Dear ladies who work at the front desk in my apartment,
Thank you for being so kind to me. Every time I walk in and out of the building, you smile and wave like we've been best friends since middle school. I can't wait to learn more Thai so I can small talk with you. Can you tell the security guard that he really doesn't need to salute me when I come home late? It makes me feel weird. Should I salute him back? Let me know.

Dear older Thai ajaan who works in the English Department,
I know you're kind of important around here, so I would never say this to your face, but do you really have to judge my outfit every time you see me? I would almost feel better if you just said something rather than looking me up and down for what feels like 30 seconds. I was warned about you doing this to me before I started working here and even with the forewarning, I still feel incredibly awkward. I like all of your outfits by the way.

Dear woman who sits out on the sidewalk,
I see you everyday. I wish I could give you all the money in the world. I hope a smile and a prayer will do for now.

Dear guy with the furry motorbike,
I saw you drive off from the coffee shop by my apartment the other day. I miss seeing your furry bike parked out front. Since I haven't seen you or your bike for awhile, why don't you come back so I can at least take a picture of you and your sweet ride. How does that work with all the rainfall by the way?

Dear Ajaans from the UK,
I still love your accent. Sometimes I don't even hear what you're actually saying because I'm too busy liking what I hear.

Dear student who gave me the decorative chopstick to wear in my hair,
Um, thank you? I didn't really know what to say. I appreciate you thinking of me the last time you went to the market. You really didn't have to and you probably shouldn't have at all. Even though the little silver cupid charm dangling from the top is really cute, I'm afraid to wear it to class because you might think we're going steady. On the other hand, if you're trying to bribe me for a good grade...try a bean and cheese burrito next time. A for effort though.

Dear 7/11 cashier,
I'm sorry to do this to you all the time. You must think I'm absolutely loaded. I come in to buy a little yogurt for 12 Baht and pay with a 1,000 Baht bill every other week. I'm not loaded and I really don't need those yogurts. You're just the only place in the city that will break my 1,000 Baht bills.

Dear King,
I see you everywhere. You're quite handsome in those photographs from 30 years ago. Especially that life size cut out of you standing on the balcony above the used car dealership. I really thought it was you up there; so realistic. I know I was laughing at your video montage at the movie theater and I'm sorry for that. Something about being here makes me really like you. I don't know anything about you and I really like you. I almost bought a yellow polo shirt to wear on Mondays in your honor like everyone else. I guess if you can keep this whole country happy and stress-free and laid back, you're my kind of king.

Dear all of you other citizens of Thailand,
Seriously, what is your deal with corn for dessert? I don't get it. Corn is for dinner. Ice cream is for dessert. Instead you put corn in your ice cream. Why? Not just ice cream, but yogurt, smoothies, waffles and other dessert foods. I'm sorry, but this is something I will never understand. So please don't look at me weird if I'm spoiling my dinner by eating my dessert sprinkled on top of a taco.